Your Smile
by The Half Mad Muggle
Summary: Severus Snape reflects on three smiles.  ONESHOT.


Your Smile

_Written with the song "Angels" by Within Temptation as its inspiration. I do not own the song—much like I do not own the characters in the story._

_Kati, you will know where this one comes from. Thank you for introducing me to WT! 3_

_

* * *

__There's no escape now, no mercy, no more._

_No remorse, cos I still remember..._

* * *

I lowered my eyes to meet his. Eyes that promised such torment, for every moment of my childhood. I was but an innocent, yet he had still found reason to hurt me. I was nothing to him.

It would end here, tonight, this very spot. It would be my wand that would deliver the final judgement.

All those years, waiting for him to come. Not understanding and not knowing why he hated me, yet accepting my fate because I had no way to fight.

I would savour every second of this moment; him, on his knees, willing to beg me for his life. But what life had he given me?

They say that the father should be the most important person in life. They say he should always have respect and gratitude and love.

I never respected my father, for he treated me as if I were dirt. I was never grateful to my father, for he only hurt me.

I never loved my father, for he never loved me. He always saw me as an object.

His words, even now. They wound.

So many insults. Worthless. Insignificant. Useless. Disappointment.

Why was he never proud of me, and of all I achieved? I am going to be one of the most powerful Dark Wizards alive—and yet. He sees me as nothing.

Beg me, scum. Beg me for your life. Ask me to spare you, but I will not listen.

I will torture you, the way you tormented me. I will show you agony.

I hear the screams. You scream so easily. I never screamed. That is how I have the respect now.

For the Dark Lord respects me. He is grateful, for I have helped his rise to power. He loves me for what I was, what I am, and what I will be.

You. On the other hand.

You will die here. There is no escape.

There is no mercy.

No more. You shall not live upon this planet, not for one second long.

For I still remember your smile. When you pushed me against the wall, and raised your fist.

* * *

_The smile when you tore me apart._

_Fallen angel, I was blind,_

_I could not see, your dark intentions for me._

* * *

I raised my eyes to his. Eyes that had promised so much power, now warning of so much terror. I was no longer an innocent; and I did ask for this.

But it must end here. Tonight. This very spot. For he asks too much of me. He demands what I cannot give. It will be my doing, that will strike what could be the final verdict.

All those years, obeying his every command. Understanding and knowing why he loved me and hated me in every moment, and accepting my fate because I knew I had no choice. He was the only one who would have me.

I will savour every moment when I betray him. It is the right thing. He will never know that I will be his downfall—for what has he given me, except torment?

They say that the Lord should be the most important person in life. They say that he should have reverence and appreciation and love.

I have revered him, but he has never valued me. I have appreciated what he has done for me, yet he has never thanked me for every sacrifice I have made for him.

I have loved him. Terribly—the love that only a servant can give.

But he has never loved me in return.

He has always seen me as an object.

His words, even now. They wound.

So many insults. Disappointment. Displeasure. Irritation. Annoyance.

Has he ever been proud of me, and all that I have achieved for him? I will be hailed a hero for delivering in the information that will lead to his defeat. And yet, he sees me as nothing.

Try to talk me round. Tell me that I am worth something to you. Ask me to stay, yet I will not listen to you.

I will hurt you, the way you hurt me. I will show you betrayal.

You may be so mighty, yet you will fall so easily. The strongest always do. You have shown me that.

I have not fallen. That is what will earn me the respect.

He may not know it yet, but the Light Lord will respect me. He will be grateful, for I will help to destroy you. He will love me for defeating what I was, changing who I am, and fighting for who I will be.

You, on the other hand.

You will die soon. There is no escape.

You will be shown no mercy.

For I still remember the smile. When you forced me to floor, and cast your Cruciatus.

* * *

_The smile when you tore me apart._

* * *

I meet his eyes. Blue eyes, comforting and reassuring. They are all I ever wanted.

His words—promises of something new and something better.

One simple vow. That I will do as he asks.

He reaches out and gently touches my arm.

No one is allowed to touch me.

But I let him.

For he will help me.

_

* * *

_

This world may have failed you,

_It doesn't give a reason why_

_You could have chosen a different path_

_In life._

* * *

I cannot look at him. Eyes that had promised such relief, every moment since I had chosen to follow him. I was never an innocent, but I never asked for this.

It cannot end here. It cannot end tonight. Not in this spot. He asks such a little thing, and yet is too much too. He demands what I have done before—yet I cannot this time. It will be my doing; my wand will carry out this deed.

All those years, obeying his every command. Understanding and knowing why I was so desperate to serve him; yet unsure of the emotions in my own heart. Accepting my fate, not because I had no choice, but because I wanted to.

He was the only one who could love me.

I despise every second that passes. Every moment leads me closer to the murder. He tells me it is the right thing; yet I do not believe him. How can he ask me to do this—he has only ever given me love and safety.

He has been the most important person in my life. I respect him because he has always respected me and my fight to save the light. I am grateful to him because he gave me another chance and he chose to listen. I revere him because he has such power, yet he chooses to use it for the right reasons. I appreciate every sacrifice he has made for me and every opportunity he has given me.

I love him because he loved me in return—and it was not a possessive love. It was paternal, he saw worth in me, treated me like a son.

I was never just an object to him.

Except for now. I am a tool to carry out such a cruel mission.

His words, last night. They wounded me. Pride. Affection. Encouragement. Determination.

He tells me he is proud of me. He sees me as the hero that no one else could, or even wanted to.

Tell me I don't have to do this to you. Tell me that you will save me this torment. Tell me that you will stay to guide me in my hour of need.

Why do you have to hurt me in such a way?

I will hurt you in return for the hurt you are causing me, tonight. You betrayed me.

You are so powerful, yet you ask such a terrible thing. You use me to destroy you, and with you, the hope will die too.

You ask so much of me.

You will die here.

There is no escape.

No mercy, no more.

No remorse.

For I still remember the smile, when you asked me to do this.

The smile, when I agreed.

The smile, when you broke my heart.

* * *

_The smile when you tore me apart._

* * *

_Fin._


End file.
